Not Every Man Is Created Equal
Masculinity: Not every man is created equal in this society, although we are “supposed” to have the same opportunities we differ most in our social status.
There is a difference between single men and single dads. Most men are in either one of these two statuses. Given the state of affairs of society today the majority of people already have some type of responsibility to someone else. The majority of the people in online places like Tinder, Bumblebee, Match.com, and so forth are people who have kids and if you are a single man, you can find yourself, looking for a needle in a haystack. But hear me out! That is good. Your effort of finding a single person with no kids can pay off if you set your mind to it. Here are the statuses of both, so you know what is at stake if you, as a single person, decide to get together with a person who already has kids;
For single men, the status is less controversial, and they only have the responsibility for themselves. That means you as a single man don’t have to worry about no kids! Kids are the biggest responsibility you will ever have in your life. However, you need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared for that. Ideally, you want kids that are biologically yours when you first started. It is an injustice for anyone who is single to start a relationship with someone who already has kids! And when we talked about single dads you will realize how much single parents have to go through in a relationship.
“For single men, the status is less controversial, and they only have the responsibility for themselves…”
“Kids are the biggest responsibility you will ever have in your life…”
As a single man you crave intimacy, and you can only experience that with someone who is single. A single man who starts a loving relationship with a single woman (not a single mom) may be a priority in her life for a short time. Once single women start having kids the priorities shifts, and unfortunately, the man stops being the priority in that woman’s life. The priorities are for their kids, so the man always falls second on the list of her priorities. So, men don’t get to be the priority in a woman’s life for a long time, now that she has a kid from the man it is just nature. And single men are forced to adjust to this new normal.
“As a single man you crave intimacy, and you can only experience that with someone who is single.”
This isn’t a bad thing if the kid is yours because it is yours! It comes from you and it’s part of masculinity to bring forth new life and pass on your genes and make that new creature to be a prosperous and useful member of society! But what happens when you put yourself in a situation where you are dealing with a single parent?
For single dads, life is much more complicated. Whenever you are a single dad, you need to deal with two different women, at different levels. You are dealing with your significant other at the “loving relationship” level and you are dealing with the baby’s momma at a “business-like” level. Nevertheless, in essence, you are dealing with two women, and you are supporting two women at the same time. More often than not this situation brings continuous conflicts with these two people at a personal level and it will never let you move forwards with your purpose in life. As a matter of fact, your purpose has already been determined by society, into supporting and maintaining not only these two women but also their kids. And another thing you will have to consider is that you will have to deal with your significant other’s ex. The same thing happens to women who are single and they hook up with a single dad. These women will have to deal with your ex.
“For single dads, life is much more complicated. Whenever you are a single dad, you need to deal with two different women, at different levels…”
From the single dad’s perspective, you run the chance that these women will start teaching your own kids, and sometimes the teaching that they provide is not exactly what you want your kids to know. As I mentioned before you will be dealing with these people at different personal levels and they are not going to let you continue with what you want to do. In a break up most guys get attached to these kids that aren’t theirs. Once that happens women tend to take their kids away, and you are left without any chance to see them again. As opposed to a single dad who has some legal fighting chance to see his kids again.
Single dads constantly have to deal with exes. And sometimes these exes aren’t civilized and people get into a lot of trouble for this. Most exes have not been able to move on and therefore that creates a lot of friction and discomfort in these types of relationships that you don’t really have the need for that. A lot of tragedies have occurred because of this particular situation. And these are dramas and situations that you don’t really need to bring to your life if you can help it.
“Single dads constantly have to deal with exes. And sometimes these exes aren’t civilized and people get into a lot of trouble for this…”
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Most likely men have to deal with their significant other’s kids more than women. As a man, you are living with this woman constantly so you will be dealing with her kids, more than you do with your own. It’s a fact of life because the majority of the time courts award the custody of the kids to women, not men. Lastly, if you are single men note that you will fall into second priority as I said before—all the time—if you get into a relationship with a single mom. You will be thrown to be in a situation where you will be going to “act as if” you are a parent, and you will be expected to have prior experience with kids that aren’t yours. When all you are looking for is to have more intimacy with that woman, you are being placed into a situation where intimacy doesn’t happen as you expected and you are in a worse position than you started.
Wright in the comment below section if you have experienced any of these situations as a single man or a single dad. And tell me how you’ve dealt with it.
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