Masculine Frame: The development of a masculine frame
How to study and understand your romantic self to have a more masculine frame?
To study your masculinity, you need to look back at history. What history tells us about masculinity, especially in the romantic side of it. Books like King, Warrior Magician, Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillett; can give examples of masculinity archetypes men have subcontinently displayed throughout history.
As the book suggests, we are always looking at fulfilling that part within us that can display all those characteristics. And the “Lover” archetype is not an exception. As a matter of fact, due to the inflexibilities and expectations of modern society, we have been able to quench that part of masculinity within us for fear of being considered weak!
“Better to be feared than to be loved!” implied Niccolò Machiavelli in his book The Prince. In some sense, it is true, because unfortunately, most people would want to exploit vulnerabilities within you. So, how do you manage the topic “love?”
Well, first you are going to have to define it. Understand what love means to you. Because how you can say you “love” someone and you don’t know what love, really means? Let alone, how can you be able to love someone, if you are not vulnerable to that person? You know that person can hurt you or break you if they want to.
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Then you need to understand that infatuation and love are not the same things. Infatuation is more selfish, love is selfless. So, we need to know the difference! And by we, I mean men and women alike. Some men have disregarded the topic of “love” altogether, by denouncing that love doesn’t exist. But, is it really? Or is it just an assertion, these men are doing to themselves to avoid being taken advantage of?
Next, is the problem of vetting the “right” women for you. For that, you need to know yourself, what you like, what you don’t like, your strength and your weaknesses, and what you can tolerate and what you can’t tolerate. The same holds true with your female prospects. Always keep in mind that people will always sell the best part of themselves when they perceived you as high value—only you’ll notice their true character as time goes by.
Being high values can be seen as simple as a man who has all their shit together; you have your money right, you have transportation, you have a place of your own, you are skillful in what you do, and you can take care of yourself—physically, mentally, financially. Meaning you are clean, you are organized, and you keep your resources working and well-maintained. In other words, you are self-reliant!
Finally, what you should be looking is for someone that you really like as a person and she likes you back. I’m not saying physical, although that person has to be attractive to your expectation, but more than that you need someone that you like as a person, more than her body. All problems are raised when men start looking at the superficial. Being that we all are visual creatures, but once you get some experience you tend to look for more than just looks or someone that you can contend with...!
Why is that important? Because what you’re really looking for is a sidekick! A person that you can trust and who is really there when you need her. You will never find that type of person in a club, the beach or the church, or anywhere. In order for you to find that type of person is by you training her to your ways. Hence, that is where the masculine frame comes to play.
Most guys are too lazy to train women to their ways, excusing their lack of accountability by saying “She belongs to the streets!” Let’s be honest! They’ll never want to be romantically involved with any girl in the first place; let alone take the time to develop a relationship with them. At least some of us are honest enough to say “I just want to smash and dash!” –which is fine, there’s no hate for doing that.
Nevertheless, with every action you do there is an equal or greater amount of reaction—there will be some consequences good or bad that we all have to pay for. We are at a point in modern society where every connection we make with others determines our success or failure. As men, we need to learn how to create our own group of people that we can trust and use our own leadership skills (masculine frame) to help others cope with one another.
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